Life or Death

2009-10-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

Life, Love, and the Airforce!

I know i havent posted anything in forever and ever.... but here it goeshere is a shot at what my life is and has become as of late

Life is good. Life is full of i dont knows and possiblities.It feels like life has been one weird thing after another lately, but as i write this on a dark september night i am midly content in how i have choosen to live my life. I dont think I could or would trade my life right now for anything. I cant think of anything i would rather do....

Love HAHAHA love is a funny thing that is only true in Cinderlla... Not even playin lol!! I dont think love exists anymore... its all about sex and money for everyone especially in the millitary no one has time for love or what that brings with it.

My relationship with God whew!! I dont know I think im going to skip to the next topic........
The Airforce is pretty much my life... I graduate from tech school which is the Armys AIT and the Navys A school soon... actually in 6 days now! HUAH!! lol but I like the airforce i have a steady job and i am going to be a cop which is fun... I think im going to enjoy it a whole lot. I am actually going to get my big sister to pin my cop badge on me hope-fully!! Im pretty excited about that!

alright thats it for right now im tired and i am in desperate need of a shower!
Pray, pray for the millitary pray for your country and pray for the leaders of your country! As you pray for them pray for wisdom in the leaders lifes so that they can guide you in the right path....

P.S. I dont know who reads this or if anyone reads this... OKay I know at least Kaylene reads it but my realtionship with God is being worked on I know what I have to do its just humbling myself and doing it!
Love yall guys!!!

I SURVIVED!!

2009-08-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

I survived Basic Training and now im working toward graduating from Tech School I have 7 weeks left!!

I've learned so much about me and and about how far i can push my body!! Im sorry its been so long but i havent had a computer to write or do anything really lol!!

alright i dont have much else just im here doing what has to be done miss everyone soo much

Leaving

2009-03-14T18:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry Guys... I know its been a long time AGAIN!!

Well i leave in 15 days for basic training. Im a little nervous im not even gonna lie...

Leaving College Station or preparing to leave College Station has been harder that i ever thought... my heart hurts that i have to say good bye to my family and friends here!

Well i dont know what else to say... Please pray that my physical and mental strength is in the Lord and that I dont grow weary and faint!

thanks guys...

Airforce

2008-11-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

Hey its been a long time since I've posted!

I am taking my ASVAB for the air force tomorrow in Houston. That's a test to decide whether or not i am qualified to join the air force and this test also shows which job i am qualified for.

So depending on my ASVAB score I go to the MEPS center for a physical examination!! I'm kinda nervous about the MEPS because ill have to walk around in my skivvies in front of EVERYONE!!!!

So that's the big thing in my life right now! Ill post more as I know more! Keep reading my blog as I Cross Into The Blue!!

Marriage

2008-08-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

Marriage....

a union between two people.....

BLAH!!! WHAT A LOAD OF BOLOGNA....

Word

2008-03-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted.

I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.

You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days, the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.
My hear mused and my spirit inquired:

Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?

Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High."

I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your words and consider all you mighty deeds.

Your ways, O God are holy.
What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the poeples.

With your mighty arm you reeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacod and Joseph.

The waters saw you, O God,
the waters saw you and writhed;
the very depths were convulsed.
The clouds poured down water,
the skies sesounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
your thunder was heard in the whirl wind,
your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked.
your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.

You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

Psalm 77

The cry of my heart!! Sorry it's been so long!!

Pleasure of Loving God

2007-08-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a book called the Pleasure of Loving God. It's a really good book and everyone should read it!! But this is what I've learned...

He designed us so that our spirits will dull when we have a void of the knowledge of God's beauty.

Colossians 3:10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,

When we live out of our natural identities, we define ourselves by how much money we make, what position and abilities we possess, how much power and influence we have and who we know. The Lord on the other hand, wants us to live our of the resources and the power of our spiritual identity-in other words, defining our lives by the fact that the beautiful our lives by the fact that the beautiful God desires us and has exalted us in the gift of the righteousness of Jesus.

Song of Solomon 7:10 I am my beloveds and his desire is toward me.

Luke 22:32 And they said to one another, Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?

I AM LOVED, AND I AM A LOVER!!!

Because I am loved and I am a Lover, I am successful in my humanity as a person during my time on the Earth. My primary success is because of that one spiritual principle and face: I am loved and; I am a lover of God.

This book has been so good for me to read..... especially on my journey to truly discover who I am and who the Lord is!

Vain

2007-08-09T18:30:00.000-07:00

Just a little something I wrote a while back......

Why am I in the depths of despair?
That's why I'm writin the lyric
Just to try and keep my spirit
Man I feel like I'm about to go insane
What's my gain
If all I do is in vain
God, I want to know
How far I gotta go
Why am I in the depths of despair?
Is it really fair?
All I want to do is praise your name
Don't you want the same
It just deals with me growing
Cant I do it without showing
I'm in the depths of despair

Just like Jacob wrestled the angel
That's whats going on in my head
It makes me not want to go to bed
Satan keeps me awake to my thoughts
And all the lies I have bought
It wears me out
I know I should just pray
I just don't know what to say
You know the Lord saved me from all of this
So why do I keep gettin in this amiss
That's a good question to ask
I need to take off my mask
And get on my knees to humble myself
To take away all my pride
So that I can abide
In the kingdom of Heaven
Not to make it there on a lucky seven
But to go there on full force sayin praise the Lord
You know I got these Lyrics running through my head
I'm so tired I want to go to bed
But I gotta get these lyrics out of my head
The only way is throught this pen
The only way to express my sin

Just something I wrote.... Tell me what you think!

LOVE

2007-07-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

This stinky thing won't let me put pictures on it!!!!

2 Corinthians 13:4-8a Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I found a bulletin from an old LH sermon over this verse....

Patient- the ability to be wronged without retaliating

Kind- considerate of the others feelings and needs of others

Does not envy-not jealous about the things or abilities of others

Does not boast-doesn't brag about abilities or things

It is not proud-not arrogant; doesn't take credit for their accomplishments

It is not rude-impolite ; inconsiderate

It is not self-seeking-selfish desire to do what's best for me

It is not easily angered-quick tempered or easily agitated

It keeps no record of wrongs- forgets past mistakes like they never happened

Does not delight in evil-is not happy when others fall or does not use failure of others to justify

their own sin; sin does not improve life.

But rejoices in the truth-focuses on things that glorify God

Always protects- looks to assist or guard others

Always trusts-have an attitude that counts on and believes others will do right

Always hopes- expands trust to keep looking for and expecting the best

Always perseveres-keeps loving not matter how tough it gets

Never fails-it is an impossibility for this type of love to become inefficient or lose its splendor.

What kind of love is this verse talking about? Marriage yeah..... but what about to orphans and widows also???

Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

James 1:27

I think that, that the first verse was talking about having agape love like Christ did for us....

And He, bearing His cross, went out to a place called the Place of a Skull, which is called in Hebrew Golgotha, where they crucified Him, and two others with Him, one on either side, and Jesus in the center. Now Pilate wrote a title and put it one the cross. And the writing was: JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS.

John 18:17-19

So if your easily persuaded by the ramblings of a seventeen year old then I think you should foster!!!!

Shoot I would but I'm only seventeen and I'm not married!!!

Hope

2007-07-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

I have been led by the Lord to start volunterring at Hope Pregnancy Center!! Yup!! I'm scared out of my pants!! There will be updates on this!!

Doubting Thomas

2007-06-16T18:52:00.000-07:00

I've turned into a doubter!! It hurts me to say that because it means I lack faith.

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6 (nkjv)

I know that I am saved but something in my head is like are you sure? Would you really be struggling with something like that if you were?

What brought this on? Good question because I have no idea!!! It could be the creepy old guy following me around at work, it could be my dreams, or it could be the fact I feel like poop!!! I don't know but I hate the fact that I feel like I walk around everyday with the word shame written across my face! I know I've been forgiven of sins so why am I still feeling guilty about them?

according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:20-21 (nkjv)

Okay I'm not done that was just one topic...

Contenment, I know that probably has something to do with doubting but seriously I'm ready to leave College Station! I hate the five fifteen traffic from everyone getting off of work!! I hate the eight o clock traffic from everyone going to work!! I hate a&m even though I'm going there!! I hate College Station even though I'm stuck in the middle of it going through life....

Someone once told me that the Lord wasn't going to allow me to go anywhere until I was completely content in him, then this person went on to explain to me that if I left and moved to Japan that I would just become uncontent and get restless.

I'm beginning to think that, that statment is true.... I'm not supposed to be content in my circumstantces but in the Lord!

Then his wife said to him, " Do you still hold fast to your integirty? Curse God and die!" But he said to her, " You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and shall we not accept adversity? In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

Job 2:9-10

So there you go..... that's what's going on in my head tonight......

Porcelain Heart

2007-06-03T11:47:00.001-07:00

MY NEW FAVORITE SONG!!!!

Broken heart one more time, pick yourself up why even cry? Broken pieces in your hands, wonder how you'll make it whole?

You know you pray this can't be the way, you cry, you say somethings gotta change man this porcelain heart of mine!

Someone said a broken heart would sting at first then make you stronger, wonder why this pain remains? Were hearts made whole just to break?

You know you pray this can't be the way, you cry, you say somethings gotta change man this porcelain heart of mine!

Created only you take brokenness and create it into beauty once again!!!

You know you pray this can't be the way, you cry, you say somethings gotta change!!

Take Two....

2007-05-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

I had an entire post written out....then it got deleted!!! It really stunk....So I'm going give whoever reads this the shorter version....

Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (NKJV)

Presenting my body as a living sacrifice, holy, and acceptable to God has never really crossed my mind as important until just recently. How recently you ask... well the other day!! Okay well I have been thinking more and more about this because of what I have was doing....there is no way that it makes my body a living sacrifice!! Also because I wasn't presenting my as a living sacrifice I was conforming to this world!! Which always stinks...... So because of this sin I have to go through consequences of smoking cigarettes, may it be withdrawal or something further down the road I don't know but with sin there comes consequences!

Verses I like.....

John 1:23 He said; "I am The voice of one crying in the wilderness: Make straight the way of the Lord as the prophet Isaiah said."

Job 5:17-18 Behold, happy is the man whom God corrects; Therefore do not despise the chastenting of the Almighty. For He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but His hands make whole.

I like those verses because I feel like they speak volumes of what I'm feeling right now!

Another Journey....

2007-04-24T18:39:00.001-07:00

I couldn't think of another title.....

Braces....

NO BRACES....

The Last Flow?!

2007-02-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

Two in one day Whoo Hoo!!!!

Okay for those who do not know what a flow circle is, it is a circle of friends talking in a fast rhythm rhyming off of one another!!

This is what we came up with!! See if you can pick mine out!!

This is my Last
I kinda think it went by fast
don't think that thought
because that's a lie you just bought
I only have one thing to preach
I only have one thing to teach

God is growin me up so fast
I knew this time wouldn't last
it's on to a bigger and better thing
even if I don't like the ring
you betta great ready for what I'm about to say
Cause it's gonna spin your day

How ofter is 1:16 proclaimed in your life
And why is your head cause in all this strife
Yeah! you lookin at me life what you talkin about?
well listen up i'm about to shout!
1:16 says you are not ashamed
do you want me to put in a frame?
well here ya go
I'll break it down slow

For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ
That means you'll shoot down like dice
you'll be hittin up the street
you won't have time to eat the meat!
for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone
this only happens to those who believe in the son
so there ya go
that's 1:16 broken down real slow

God is growin me up so fast
I knew this time wouldn't last
its' on to a Bigger and better thing
even if I don't like the ring
you betta get ready for what I'm about to say
cause it's gonna spin your day

I'm about to take you beliefs and convictions
and turn them into contradictions
you don't think it's gonna happen
well let me tell ya somethin with out me cappin
Scientist say it will happen further down the road
you know that's just a lie they've sold
if you look in Luke twenty-one
you'll see were close to bein done!
21 says nation will be against nation
don't think that will be a vacation

That's all we got before someone fell off!! Fell off means someone stumbled on words and couldn't finish the measure! I tried really hard to make it sound not ghetto...but it was hard and I didn't want to change what it said!! Tell me what you think...

I converted!!

2007-02-24T14:01:00.000-08:00

The blog people wouldn't let me sign on unless I converted to the new google account! I was going to convert a couple of weeks ago but I was sick and I couldn't stay awake very long!

Good vs. Evil

2007-02-21T06:44:00.000-08:00

I was going to write a post about a flow circle but I don't have time!!

Good vs. Evil....

The battle that wages in all of ups! How do we defeat this battle? Why do we fight this war? I don't know about ya'll but I fight it a lot!

When people say that good always beats evil ar they talking about always or just in the end?

Genesis 2:9 And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground- trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Psalm 37:27 Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever.

Matthew 15:19 Frow out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.

Romans 13:14 Rather clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and don not things about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

Gensis 50:20 You inteneded to harm me, but God inteneded it for to good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

Proverbs 11:27 Hew who seeks good finds goodwill but evil comes to him who searches for it.

Mark 19:19 Why od you call me good? Jesus answered. " No one is good-except God alone."

John 10:11 I am the good shepered. The good shepered lays down his life for the sheep.

FUN FUN FUN!

2007-02-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. "have the power"

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? nothing!!!

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Legally Blonde

4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 10:25

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 10:30

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The TV in the other room!

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Early today!! To get my SAT stuff out of my car

.8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? my cell phone

9. What are you wearing? jeans and a t shirt

10. Did you dream last night? uhhh i don't remeber

11. When did you last laugh? earlier today

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? pictures and paint

13. Seen anything weird lately? no!!

14. What do you think of this quiz? fun I guess

15. What is the last film you saw? Open Season!! So stinking funny!!

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? ohh I don't know!! uhhh probably...trips all over the world!!

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? people would have a realtionship with Jesus!

19. Do you like to dance? OH YEAH!!!

20. George Bush: our president?!

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Emily Grace

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Joshua Daniel

23. Would you ever consider living abroad? EVERYDAY....

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? well done my good and faithful servant.

Postponed Conversion....

2007-01-29T10:29:00.000-08:00

So I was going to convert to the new google account for blogs! But I can't really see straight and Nyquill SUCKS!! Man whoever made nyquill to be less strong should be shot! Gosh........

The Promised arrival....

2007-01-27T18:34:00.000-08:00

Ephesians 6:1-3 Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.

This post is probably going to be more that I expected it to be. Everyone who has ever gone to church knows that verse because it's told to you since you are young. I know that the word of the Lord is the final word and no one can add or take away from it but bear with me.....

Living Hope has been my church home since I can remember! I love that church, I love every thing about that church! I love the people there, I love that you can walk in to that place and be completely surrounded by friends, no family! Like I said bear with me......

I think I have been going to LH since I was seven. My parents quit going and they allowed me to continue to attended. Well recently they have been attending a church that they love. My parents have asked me to attended with them. I did start going with them but I miss Living Hope. So where is the point that I am disobeying them with that? Oh goodness I feel like every thing just goes around and around in my head so I don't really know if it will make sense on the blog!

Sorry I thought that picture was funny! Man other than that life is good! The Lord is teaching me so many things I feel like I can't keep up! It is all good.... OH today I went to James Avery to look at purity rings and I found the PERFECT ONE!! It's sooooo amazing I LOVE IT! Well it's silver and on it in hebrew, it says I am my beloved and he is mine! (Song of Solomon 6:3) Good stuff!! Actually this blog wasn't as long as I thought it was going to be.....

My new favorite verses.....

Isaiah 40:30-31 Even the youths shall faint and be weary. And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; The shall mount up on eagles, the shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not be faint.

I Promise!

2007-01-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

I promise that I will update my blog! So much has happened in just one month!! Wow isn't that crazy? I have crazy huge news!

Tagged

2006-12-06T19:17:00.000-08:00

Thanks to kaylene I've been tagged! So here you go five things you don't know about me!

1. I don't like sphegetti!(I don't like it so much I don't even know how to spell it!!) It's so gross I hate thinking about eating it! I will never EVER make another person eat sphegetti!! Oh and I will never make it for my family or kids...NEVER!

2. I've never met another who doesn't like sphegetti or who doesn't look at me crazy!! I know......

3. I think out door christmas lights are tacky! I just don't like them!! My parents even put them up and I can't stand them!! So here's a tip don't mix and match your outdoor christmas lights.... don't put wood with normal lights!! Don't use color lights!! Oh and make sure they are straight!! I am to outdoor chirstmas to what Aaron Hendrick is to Christmas trees!
My kids are going to me messed up never eating sphegetti or getting to put up outdoor christmas lights!

4. I have a shoe fetish! I don't know I just do!

5. My room is purple and has butterflies all over it!
My favorite color is purple! And my favorite animal/insect is butterflies because the sybolize being a new creation!

So there you go! I don't think there is any one else to be tagged!!

Worry Wart?

2006-11-26T12:35:00.000-08:00

Are you a worry wart? Well the sermon at Living Hope was about a life of praise and prayer

and how the opposite can really mess you up! The skit was about a person who worrys and a person who dosen't! It really made me laugh because the past couple of day I have been worrying about not worrying!! How ironic is that? I have completely switched my way of thinking because I don't worry about my future, I don't worry about if I'm going to get married, If I'll ever finish school....What messed up thinking is that? In Jeremiah 29:11 he promises that we have a hope and a future! Well after many late nights with the Lord we straighened this out...

In my last post I was not content in the Lord because I had taken my eyes off of him! We also straightened that out! These past couple of day have been absolutly amazing! The Lord has blown me away with great he his, how big he is, how amazing he is, how crazy his soverignty is, just that he is God and I am not! Praise the Lord for that!

All I can say is Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord I tell myself. I will Praise the Lord as long as I live, I will sing praises to my God even with my dying breath! Psalm 146:1-2

The Pits!

2006-11-13T15:52:00.000-08:00

My heart hurts! I hurt! I feel like if I move any one way my heart will break all over again!

Right now I want to know why after living in one town my whole life, I'm not content? Why do I want to turn and run as fast as I can?

I've been through all of my options, I've thought about what could be causing this, I've even asked the Lord if I am in sin!

I don't understand! I don't know if I want to understand! I don't know what is going on! What I do know is my heart hurts.....

My New Favorite Poem!

2006-11-05T12:07:00.000-08:00

The Moment of Indecision: I Squirm

It is like a crushing

Decide! Choose!

Pressing down and hard inside my lungs

In heavy-throbbing tremors

Decide-soon I’ll have to

Decide what follows the tassel-hat

The tassel-I- hate because

Parting sorrows are not sweet

They’re scary and these endings push me

Fast toward unmarked doors

And open futures, with open possibilities

Shifting as I squirm

And when I get to where I’m going

(and tell me where that is again?)

My question is, will I remain

Content to stay?

It is like a crushing

Decide! Choose!

And life is gonna knock soon

Wait a minute, let me dress

What do you want?

Emily Zee

Speech in Speech Class!!

2006-11-01T15:15:00.000-08:00

Well isn't the Title Ironic? ha! Well the other day in speech class I was giving a speech over how I oppose homosexual marriage! I was using the Bible as my reference and I was bringing it I was preaching it and going at it! Well after the speech was over we were supposed to have a two minute time for questions!! I felt like the entire class raised their hands!!

Well they grilled me for two minutes and after class I realized that everyone is now mad at me because I used Scripture to back up my speech! It was so crazy because people were actually pushing me out of the way so they could go first!! I was like Oh man WOAH!!!

Philippians 1:20-21 I eagerly expect and hope I will in no way be ashamed but have sufficent courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body whether by life or by death! For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain!

This made me sad because it was the first time I EVER have been persecuted for what I believe in! And I wasn't that bad....all that happened is I lost some friends!

Here I AM!!

2006-10-24T19:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys!! This is My Blog!! I'm Hosey I'm wreckin it up for Christ so join with me in rejoicing in his sacrifice!!!