Doubting Thomas

I've turned into a doubter!! It hurts me to say that because it means I lack faith.

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6 (nkjv)

I know that I am saved but something in my head is like are you sure? Would you really be struggling with something like that if you were?

What brought this on? Good question because I have no idea!!! It could be the creepy old guy following me around at work, it could be my dreams, or it could be the fact I feel like poop!!! I don't know but I hate the fact that I feel like I walk around everyday with the word shame written across my face! I know I've been forgiven of sins so why am I still feeling guilty about them?

according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:20-21 (nkjv)

Okay I'm not done that was just one topic...

Contenment, I know that probably has something to do with doubting but seriously I'm ready to leave College Station! I hate the five fifteen traffic from everyone getting off of work!! I hate the eight o clock traffic from everyone going to work!! I hate a&m even though I'm going there!! I hate College Station even though I'm stuck in the middle of it going through life....

Someone once told me that the Lord wasn't going to allow me to go anywhere until I was completely content in him, then this person went on to explain to me that if I left and moved to Japan that I would just become uncontent and get restless.

I'm beginning to think that, that statment is true.... I'm not supposed to be content in my circumstantces but in the Lord!

Then his wife said to him, " Do you still hold fast to your integirty? Curse God and die!" But he said to her, " You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and shall we not accept adversity? In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

Job 2:9-10

So there you go..... that's what's going on in my head tonight......

Porcelain Heart

MY NEW FAVORITE SONG!!!!

Broken heart one more time, pick yourself up why even cry? Broken pieces in your hands, wonder how you'll make it whole?

You know you pray this can't be the way, you cry, you say somethings gotta change man this porcelain heart of mine!

Someone said a broken heart would sting at first then make you stronger, wonder why this pain remains? Were hearts made whole just to break?

You know you pray this can't be the way, you cry, you say somethings gotta change man this porcelain heart of mine!

Created only you take brokenness and create it into beauty once again!!!

You know you pray this can't be the way, you cry, you say somethings gotta change!!